"How to Tell Wild Animals" is a humorous poem by Carolyn Wells that mocks the serious, instructive style of wildlife guides. The poem pretends to teach the reader how to identify various wild animals, but it does so in a witty, exaggerated, and ironic manner. Each stanza presents a supposedly helpful tip for recognising a dangerous animal, often with a grimly funny twist — the reader is told to recognise the animal by what it does to them.
The poem is written in a light, playful tone, with a rhyme scheme that makes it enjoyable to read aloud. It describes animals like the lion, the tiger, the leopard, the bear, the hyena, the crocodile, and the chameleon. For each animal, the poet gives a 'sure way' of identifying it, usually involving the comic consequences of getting too close to the creature.
Beneath the humour, the poem is a clever satire on the unnecessary fear of animals and on books that claim to teach animal identification. The poet's exaggerated descriptions — such as identifying a tiger because 'there is nothing more to do' — turn the serious genre of nature guides into a source of laughter.
Carolyn Wells (1862-1942) was an American writer and poet who wrote more than 170 books, including mystery novels, poetry, and humorous verse. She is known for her light, witty, and playful style. Her humorous poems for children and adults often parody serious subjects. "How to Tell Wild Animals" is one of her best-known comic poems, in which she satirises the way wild animals are typically described in encyclopaedias and nature books.
The poem begins by telling the reader that if they ever visit the jungles of the East and come across a creature that roars at them, they should know it is a lion. If the creature has stripes and could hurt them, it is a tiger. The poet jokingly suggests that if the animal pounces on you and tells you where to join him, you have surely met the Asiatic lion.
The poem then moves to the leopard and the bear. If a creature has spots on its body, it is a leopard. If the creature hugs you, it is a bear. The poet advises that if the animal hugs you very tightly, so that you find it hard to move, it is probably a bear that has mistaken you for a favourite meal.
The poem then describes the hyena and the crocodile. The hyena is identified by its constant smile, which never changes, while the crocodile is identified by its tears, which are always ready. The poet says if you see a creature that smiles and cries at the same time, you have found the true crocodile. Finally, the poem tells the reader how to recognise a chameleon — a creature that changes colour to match its surroundings. If you see a creature that appears to have no colour at all, you have probably met a chameleon. The poem ends by playfully asking the reader to check again, because the creature might have turned into the jungle itself.
"If ever you should go by chance / To jungles in the East, / And if there should to you advance / A large and tawny beast, / If he roars at you as you're dyin', / You'll know it is the Asian Lion."
The poet describes a large, tawny beast in the eastern jungles. If it roars at you as you are dying, it is surely the Asian lion. The humour lies in the grim situation of being attacked.
"Or if some time when roaming round, / A noble wild beast greets you, / With black stripes on a yellow ground, / Just notice if he eats you. / This simple rule may help you learn / The Bengal Tiger to discern."
The poet says a beast with black stripes on a yellow ground is a Bengal tiger. The 'simple rule' is to notice whether it eats you — a comic inversion of a useful identification tip.
"If strolling forth, a beast you view, / Whose hide with spots is peppered, / As soon as he has lept on you, / You'll know it is the Leopard. / 'Twill do no good to roar with pain, / He'll only lep and lep again."
The leopard is identified by its spotted hide and its habit of leaping on its victim again and again. The pun on 'lep' adds to the humour.
"If when you're walking round your yard / You meet a creature there, / Who hugs you very, very hard, / Be sure it is a Bear. / If you have any doubts, I guess / He'll give you just one more caress."
The poet humorously suggests that a creature that hugs you very hard is a bear. The hug is a comic euphemism for a bear's dangerous embrace.
"Though to distinguish beasts of prey / Helps us with the descriptions, / The crocodile's a crafty one, / And you'll all know the thing I mean, / The way he smiles and cries / With all his mighty grin and lies."
The crocodile is described as crafty, always smiling and crying, a symbol of insincerity. Its tears are 'crocodile tears', a famous idiom.
"A noble beast of a spotted kind, / They say the Hyena is, / Whose laughter echoes on the wind, / But I must tell you this: / When he has finished eating you, / He's likely to smile anew."
The hyena is described as a beast whose laughter echoes, but the poet's comic warning is that the hyena will smile after eating you.
"Now, the Chameleon, I'm told, / You have to be careful to behold; / For if you look, he might not be, / He might have turned into the tree, / Or grass, or bush, or anything, / You look again, and he's the King!"
The chameleon is described as a master of disguise, changing colour to blend into trees, grass, or bushes. The poem ends with the playful warning that you may never see it at all.
| Animal | Identifying Feature (as given) |
|---|---|
| Asian Lion | Large, tawny, roars at you |
| Bengal Tiger | Black stripes on yellow ground |
| Leopard | Spotted hide, leaps on you |
| Bear | Hugs you very hard |
| Hyena | Smiling laughter |
| Crocodile | Smiles and cries |
| Chameleon | Changes colour to blend in |
| Device | Example |
|---|---|
| Pun | 'lep and lep again' |
| Irony | Identification by being eaten |
| Hyperbole | 'hugs you very, very hard' |
| Satire | Mocking serious nature guides |
"How to Tell Wild Animals" is a delightful blend of fact and humour. Carolyn Wells takes the serious subject of wildlife identification and turns it into a playful comedy, where the reader 'identifies' each animal by the hilarious consequences of meeting it. Through its witty irony, puns, and exaggerated situations, the poem teaches real information about the lion, tiger, leopard, bear, hyena, crocodile, and chameleon, while gently mocking our fear of the wild. It reminds us that we can learn about nature with joy rather than dread, and that sometimes the best way to face our fears is with a smile.